It's getting close to Halloween, and that means ol' Jack Chick is creaming his jeans for the opportunity to tell the world that OCTOBER 31ST IS SATAN'S BIRTHDAY. Here's a fun tract called TRICK OR TREAT that tells you how evil Halloween is, but sort of wanders into weird areas from there.  Of course, if the Jason, pumpkin, skull, and black cat on the porch weren't enough to clue you in that this is a haunted house, I imagine that subtle banner hanging above would set you straight.  Shit, I've never been to a house that dropped you through a trap door on Halloween. But read on, it gets worse.  WOW! Be careful kids, cause Satan might be living in the basement of a house RIGHT ON YOUR VERY OWN STREET! I bet the owner of this house will be pissed when he finds out about the slipshod work of the Home Inspector.  So Halloween is now the leading cause of auto related pedestrian deaths. Though Timmy wasn't even wearing a good costume like that fine Devil and Bunny combo walking down the street beyond them.  Geez, if Satan was that powerful, why didn't he just take him while he was in the basement? And poor Timmy, forced to spend eternity in Hell with that ugly sweater on.  Actually, according to this flashback, Timmy wore that sweater every single day, anyway, so I suppose he'll be happy to have it in Hell. And what a great bedside manner this woman has, eh? "Sorry your friend is dead, but HE'S IN HELL!"  What, you mean BAD people go to heaven and GOOD people go to hell? This is like one of those logic tricks to make the robots on the old Star Trek show blow up.  Hey, I thought this was about Halloween? After the accident, it's never spoken of again.  What she's not telling you, is that Timmy was in a pretty nice rent controlled portion of Hell with Cable TV and all the rock music he can listen to. That deceiving temptress!  Boy, it didn't take them long to forget all about Timmy, did it. THIS IS THE GREATEST HALLOWEEN EVER! THANKS FOR KILLING MY FRIEND, GOD, AND SHOWING ME THE WAY TO SALVATION!  So go ahead and make this your greatest Halloween, and reject Satan. Or come on, at least get a bunch of candy first, then ask Jesus for forgiveness in the morning. Odds are, you'll make it through the night okay. -Robert | |||